Joshua Saunders, radio host, 20-years-of list writing, socialising and general clumsiness
‘I savour the precious few moments before taking the broadcasting reins, basking in the adrenaline, ready to introduce my show... I still to this day do not know how many people tune in on a regular basis. There could be none’
It will take me at least six snoozed alarms before I can even think about getting out of bed, at around ten, because if it’s much later than that it feels like the day has been wasted. I start the day with a glass of water and a mixture of two cereals. They vary depending on the day, but normally include a nice tasting, sugary cereal combined with something that has bran in the title. This is my own pathetic attempt at trying to counteract the belly that bulges more every day.
I look at my diary as I’m constantly making lists whether it be things I need to purchase, words I intend to use in the future or did not understand, songs that I heard on the radio, the list could go on.
I head out around 12 to start some work for my radio show - ready to gather the song requests of my audience, boys and girls 16 years young. Patrick, the security guard, welcomes me into his office with a smile. He still remembers the night when I locked myself out mid-broadcast and couldn't get back in until several hours after my show had finished. We still joke about it now as he passes me the keys.
The archaic studio awaits, with no computers just two CD players, a dark grey record player and a simple cueing-up desk. It really is like stepping back into the sixties. In fact it’s probably is the same equipment from when it was opened. There is nothing to suggest you are in the 21st century while in there, I like to think of it as my own personal Nirvana - anything from the outside world that troubles me is forgotten, there’s just myself and the music.
Donned in a fluorescent yellow promotional jacket I head out, riskily I leave the studio unlocked, it makes it more of a challenge for me to get the children’s requests and back in time before the burglars attack. They never do, there would be nothing for them to steal.
There are never any 'regulars' in the children's ward, which makes it difficult for me to build a rapport with any of the patients. I regurgitate the speech that I have found the most successful: "Hello my name's Josh, I'm from the hospital radio team. Are there any songs you fancy hearing tonight?" Normally they say no. "Well if you fancy tuning in I'll be broadcasting from 6-8pm." Waving them off I carry onto my next victim, my usual average is three requested songs per show. This doesn’t bother me though as it means I can play whatever I want to hear.
The remaining few hours, before the show, are spent with a female friend going for coffee, although I drink tea. I like these little rendezvous as I’ve always found women easier to talk to. They tend to share their problems with me; it feels rewarding being their agony uncle.
At five I head off to the radio station, with my 32-song playlist at the ready. In the studio my jacket is draped over the charcoal withered chair in the broadcasting booth, my CDs to the left of the desk and my notes of things I’m going to rhetorically speak about in the middle. There must be order before my show others it will all go tits up.
One minute to six draws near, as the last 25 seconds count down my heart rapidly races. I savour the precious few moments before taking the broadcasting reins basking in the adrenaline ready to introduce my show. The on air button lights up.
My two hours draw swiftly to a close, I finish on a soppy note thanking my listeners for tuning in. I still to this day do not know how many people tune in on a regular basis. There could be none.
Fortunately my Mum finishes work at eight so she comes to pick me up. Me, her and my brother, Jacob, sit at our table to eat it's one of my favourite times of the day. I consciously make an effort to make them both happy with little stupid stories, normally about my day.
Later on I head to the pub to meet my dearest friends, we drink in there until around 12, by which time the staff are eager to leave and we are ushered out. Stumbling home takes on average around thirty minutes.
After stumbling into bed my laptop comes out. I stay up till around three in the morning searching for quirky news from the day and generally catching up on what has happened in the world. I note down another list of the unusual things found online ready as conversation topics for my next show.
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