10 alternative uses for your shorthand book

Dawn Johnston, the name that fills every student journalist's heart with sorrow and dread. Countless hours spent slaving away in the attempt to make it to the, at the time, challenging speed of 60 words per minute, all to find out that to be accept by the journalism industry you have to squeeze another 40, if not another 60 words into that short length of time.

Well I'm saying NO MORE to those crazy little squiggles that have been the bane of my existence for too long, I'm standing up and sticking it to the Teeline man in the sky (or in our case woman).

Think of me as a 21st Century Jesus, minus the ability to grow such a glorious beard, and hopefully not destined to be nailed to a large wooden cross for an elongated, agonising death.

THR blends, vowel indicators and word groupings you have certainly met your MCH...

So goodbye sweet Teeline For Journalists, you have plagued my life for far too long. Now it's time, in true 90's style to 'get your own back' , as my personal hero David Benson-Phillips once proclaimed, with 10 alternative uses for your shorthand book:

1) Save yourself and friends from an apocalyptic zombie related scenario in which you would probably all end up eating one another...

2) Sometimes the most simple uses are the best door step, and

3) A way of propping up your trusty table

4) Frightening away little children

5) Honing your newly discovered cricket skills just in time for the 2013 Ashes series

6) Keeping warm on the long, shorthand-free nights

7) A pretty neat telescope

8) The worst Christmas anyone could ever have dream of receiving

9) Ran out of clean plates? Don't think so...

10) ...Failing that, Off Beat Earth have an even better idea for the little swine

Please note that no Alphabetties were hurt in the making of this Blog Post.